Had the morning off today for an asthma clinic appointment which meant I missed the departmental fun day (the half-day-no-fun-fun-day). I turned up at work in time to get the departmental lunch….except hospitality had screwed up and not actually delivered enough food so I had a bag of chedders…

Back to the office where I find my new chair has arrived at last (my old one has been condemned by elf and safety twice in the last 18 months as it keeps collapsing randomly). All seems good until I unwrap it only to find that it doesn’t actually work. Whereas my old one had a habit of going down all on it’s own the new one is just permanently down. Sigh. Justine did come over to check as she didn’t believe me that it was broken. To quote her “you probably need a woman to help you get it up, we are good at that”. Couldn’t argue with that logic… unfortunately, she couldn’t get it up either so an engineer will be visiting to mend it in the next 10 working days. I’m beginning to think it might just be easier to have surgery to make my legs shorter.

Then I check my email.

Subject: tank hire


So I can get things in motion please could you complete and return by fax 01594 xxxxxx or email the attached credit forms.

The first invoice will be paid by credit card, will advise total amount

Will forward quotation shortly.


Hire Controller

Wierd. As much as I’d like to hire a tank I suspect this isn’t of the interesting tracked variety. Then, I get another from a completely different company:

Subject: Tanker Rental


You did not come back to me as expected. Do I assume that you have put the requirement on ice. If so, no problem at this end but the Workshops will rent out vehicle elsewhere.


Finally, I get and offer of an interview:

Subject: Performance Officer – interview

Dear Mr Chapman

Please see the attached information. I should be grateful if you could please confirm safe receipt. Many thanks and I look forward to hearing from you.

Kind regards

Senior Recruitment Co-ordinator
Corporate Recruitment Unit
Corporate HR Unit, Town Clerk’s Department
City of London Corporation
PO Box 270 Guildhall, London EC2P 2EJ

I did give them a ring but apparantly the job doesn’t pay enough. Interestingly, them email also included the guys address so please Mr Chapman of flat 3 in Chislehurst STOP USING MY EMAIL ADDRESS!

Finally a get home to find a letter from the nationwide about my request for a new pin for their online banking system:

Thankyou for your application to register for Nationwide’s On-line banking service. Unfortunately, we are unable to accept your application at present, as your date of birth details have changed.

Please inform you visit your local branch with a form of primary identification showing this change (for example, passport of driving licence).

I’m pretty sure I’ve not changed my date of birth recently… I give up.

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2 Responses to

  1. pao says:

    Well at least your name is not John Smith.


  2. Richard says:

    Are you sure that you haven’t changed your date of birth just to get extra prezzies?????

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