odd SMS messages

no, I don’t mean the spam ones. Just messages that seem slightly odd now I read them but probably made sense when they were sent.

While standing in the rain waiting for Jake to come out of school the other day I started fiddling with my phone. I don’t really do SMS. Can’t usually see the point (it’s a phone dammit – ring me) but I have had quite a few over the year or so I’ve had this phone and I’m not sure I’ve ever deleted any. Time to clear them out. In amongst the crap “I’ll be a bit late” type messages and the crap jokes from BIL there are a few that made me wonder about my friends.

First off we have

I love the Trains. We’re on the way back from mum’s and we’re in coach eight of seven

Odd. But not that strange. Then a message from Lee

Funtastik can be hired privately for “adult use” with lasertag. What do you think?

To explain a little, Funtastik is a kids play centre (with a piss poor website). Not sure what he was suggesting by putting adult use in quotes… Next is an example of what I hate about SMS messages.

Its ur dy off 2. Hw ws vnesa? poor jakf is he ik? am goin bk to skol tmw. hpe al ok wkend x

What? Going back to Skol? That sounds pretty desperate even for a lager drinker. Then one which I think was for Jake

A quicky to wish Jake a happy birthday. Big lips from auntie kelly

Big lips? Ok….Then we have the best excuse so far from James for being late to work

Not sure when I’ll be in. I only have three wheels on my car

The second entry from Miles is the slightly random (it didn’t make all that much more sense on the day tbh)

Have you lost a purple barbie?

Finally my favourite. From Ross (well, who else)

Hi mate. I have pictures of the inside of my lower intestine. Want to see them on Saturday?

Errrr. No. Thanks for the offer but no.