I hate shopping
Well, Phils uberposh wedding this weekend so mich is hunting wedding outfits. I’ll wear my suit I got last autumn and spent all of 3 mins this morning choosing a new shirt and a nice silk tie to go with it. Mich however…
Day One
Yesterday we went to Bluewater. I sat in Starbucks and the Lego shop for 3 hours while mich chuntered around looking for something to wear. We meet up and she hasn’t found anything. Nothing. Bugger all. Zilch. In the *whole* of Bluewater there is nothing??
“Well, there was one thing that was nice…”. Turns out a blue top (sorry, duck egg) was acceptable but the only one that was the correct size had a couple of threads pulled. This was in John Lewis. No problem, it’s a Coast label and they have a shop here. Off we trundle. Nope - they have none either. But House of Fraser have a Coast bit so we head off there. Again, bugger all. Still, the computer says that the Coast store at Lakeside has one and they are just over the bridge. By this point I’ve given up on lunch and decided that we will nip over the Thames to visit Lakeside. Something like 2 miles and 45 mins (why do so many people want to go to Essex?) later we are at Lakeside. Feeling a little out of place (we are lacking in gold chains with gold clowns and we left our snotty child at home) we dash straight for the Coast shop. Typically it is the complete opposite end of the place to our car but we get there. Yes, they have one. ARRRGGGHHHHH - it has a thread pulled. Negotiate a 20% discounts and buy it anyway (60 quid for a thing that appears to be made from a blue net curtain????!!). Right sorted? No. We need some trousers now and the beige (sorry, “off white”) ones that are meant to go with it don’t meet approval (and at 80 quid I’m not too keen :-)). Still, I’ve got two days off…
Day Two
Off to Canterbury (oh joy). I head off to find myself a shirt and tie. 3 minutes later I’m sorted. Mich has found some trousers but they are white instead of cream/beige/dirtywhite so not quite the correct thing. My suggestion of some dye is met with a glare.
3 hours later we give up on Canterbury. We now have 3 tops but still a distinct lack of trousers. Why we need three tops is something that I don’t understand and problably never will. Still…
Off to Ashford. Less than an hour here - still, we now have a pair of trousers (white which wasn’t acceptable 2 hours ago but…) which are “Ok but a bit thin”.
We pick up the kids and have an early tea. “Did you say Bluewater was open till 9pm?”
I sigh and go get the car keys. Back we go to Bluewater. Here we obtain another pair of trousers (again, white. I’ve given up caring). Me and Jake get through 3 Mcds flurries (they had a choice of 3 and we couldn’t decide) and we finally return. Get back home at 10pm. Kids passed out in the car - dump them in bed. We now have 3 tops, 2 trousers and 18 quids worth of whispy blue stuff that is apparantly a scarf.
“Of course, Now I have white trousers I don’t have any shoes to match”.
I don’t think my suggestion of white trainers was acceptable. Thank god I’m back at work tomorrow.
Phil: the grub had better be good at this bloody wedding and you owe me a beer (except I’m driving…grrrrrr)
